After 11 years, I was able to have a picture with the lead singer of the band whom I had been admiring since I was in highschool

Hi! I thought I’d just write a blog about that experience. Haha. Anyway, I could say that most of you would definitely think that it was just a trivial matter but to me, it really was a big deal.

But first, I’d be posting my picture with him and his bandmate. 😊☺️. Forgive me for being soo sappy. Hahaha

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So here you go. Of course the band I was referring to was Sponge Cola. I could still remember the month of February 2005 where I got a glimpse of them. I was really excited, giddy and happy. Because I decided that I’d love to see him close, I came early at the venue and stood near the stage. During their performance, I was able to hold Yael’s hand and I was like what theeee heeeck. Hahaha. That was for so much feels for being a fan girl ☺️😍

Don’t ask me how I came to remember that moment. I just do. After that concert, I was able to attend another concert of them at STC. Chris was still their drummer then (Way back in 2005) and I could remember that he wasn’t present at that gig because he was sick…

Past forward to some years after… I think it was 2011 or 2012. I was able to see him upclose at SM Manila. I was really baffled. Haha. That was my third time seeing them I think?

Fast forward to 2013… I was able to see them again at UST Paskuhan. We were supposed to go home, my friends and I. However, for some reasons and since I was really desperate… My best friend decided to go with me and watch them before we go home. She was really supportive then, and I truly love her for that. Hehe 😚😘. I could even remember what she said then, ‘Tol, sorry, di kaya ng powers ko na buhatin ka eh!. Hahaha. Whenever I remember that moment, I cannot help but laugh.

And this 29th of January 2015, after 11 years of having a crush on the lead singer of SC, I was able to get a picture with him. Seriously, I was awestruck and I never imagined that I would really be speechless. It was really a happy moment for me. 😍😘 And I definitely owe my friend for that thing. If he haven’t been a scumbag, I wouldn’t be able to take a picture with Yael. haha

Anyway, to sum it up, I have always been their fan. 😍😘😚.

Long live OPM! 😊
😍

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Today, I think about friendship..

When I meet someone new, they would always have the first impression that I am friendly. It is indeed true until I stopped believing that all the person who is nice to you is considered your friend. Some were just pretending to be one in order to use you and take advantage of you. But there are some who’s indeed true to you.

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If I would be brutally honest, even in my barkada in high school, I could only consider 4 out of 12 people to be my closest buds. That would be my best friend, my two mapuan buddies (HS close friends who also studied in my school) and a Benildian. I need not to name that anymore.. So here I go…

April 18, 2014 might not been one of the highlights of my best friend’s life, but it sure is a memorable day for me.. It was the funeral of my best friend’s mom and I am still glad that I made it even though I was late for about thirty minutes. Thanks to her for telling me that the service was going to be held at 11am. After finding out that it was 10am, I hurriedly took a bath and found the first cab that I saw. 😦 Eventhough I made it at 10:30am, the service was OVER. :|. I was kind of shocked and my face turned out like this :|. I felt that I was kind of a failure because I was late when she needed me the most. (What kind of bff am I? Total failure :|). So when I heard that no one cried, not even her, I kind of felt relieved. At least she’s not crying at the funeral. Anyway… Since it was good friday today, I was supposed to go home after the funeral. But I stayed longer because her cousins and I are busy playing charades. They were really laughing hard. It really felt nice. I dunno. Maybe because I was somehow acknowledge by her family..

Even though I was supposed to go home after that, they even invited me to have lunch with them. I was really shy. Seriously. But still, they treated me as if I was part of their family. Then I realized.. So this is how it feels.. when you’re close with your best friend’s family.. It’s kind of nice.. And I was still abducted and played with them until 4pm and I headed home..

The next friends are my mapuan HS friends. The first one is a girl and the other one is a guy. I’ve been really comfortable with this girl because she’s always there and the three of us hang out more often than not. It’s really nice that way.. Seriously. :P.. And the guy, it’s this feeling that I might have been his twin sister in our past life. That’s what I really feel about him, I’m really comfortable around him and we could basically understand each other even if we’re not talking. It’s just nice. And seriously, whenever there’s a gathering, usually we come together. Hahaha. In short, I am fond of inviting him as well. We could really become stand up comedians. πŸ™‚

The last one is a Benildean. Before, I had some issues with her in the past and I may have said bad things about her but seriously, I have moved forward and let go of all the things that happened. And I am thankful that she understands fully what I feel about our other friend (kabarkada). She could honestly sympathize with me and respects me for my decisions. I am glad that she’s there whenever I badly need someone to talk to and she’s only the person I could explain to when those three doesn’t even get what my point is.

We had this talk yesterday about our other friend whom I am not in good terms (currently). It all started last February 8, 2014. It was her post birthday celebration and being one of her friends, I decided that I should come as well. However, thinking that she could do whatever she wanted (including hurting other people’s feelings), she did something that I never imagined that she would do. Because my guy friend and I were early birds, we arrived earlier than our other friends. So we sat at the table with her, her parents and her parents’ friend. Because she’s kind of a foul mouthed person, she made us look stupid in front of them. She repeatedly stated that we couldn’t pass our mock board exams because were not capable of doing so. To make things even worse, she even bragged about her accomplishments in front of them. It’s as if that she’s slapping in our faces that she is GREAT and WAY BETTER than US. Even though she may have been better in terms of career and success, I could say that I am way better in character than her.I was seriously disgusted about how low she looked on us. Not caring about what others may feel and making her look that she was way better than us.

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This picture says it all. I know she would never understand what we felt that time because she had already passed her board examinations and have her own job.. Things were easy for her and not for us. I just do hope that when she experience any failures, she would be able to cope up. If not, that’s pretty bad..

(To be continued since I am already lazy and I would really love to finish this K-drama)

Today, I think about regrets

Hi! It’s me again! For some reasons, I cannot really concentrate with my studies right now so I decided to write in this blog of mine. :). So here it goes…

As the title states, today is the day I talk about regrets. If there’s only one thing I’m certain in this world, that would be.. everyone of us would like to change a part of our past. To correct our mistakes or wrong doings but then again, if we would be given one chance to change our past, what would you change? What decision would you not make?

I have been asking that question myself for a long time right now. If I were still in my frosh year of college, I would never ever choose engineering as my course and ***** as my school. I would instead chase my long life dream to become a lawyer even if it means that I would defy my parents and fight for what I believe in…

However, if I had made that decision before, I am certain that I would enjoy what I am currently doing right now rather than having to study for a half-assed upcoming mock board examinations just for me to graduate. *Sigh*. (This is indeed frustrating).

Even so, there are many things that I would never obtain or possess now if I have chosen that path. I would never make the same mistakes and learn lessons from them. I never would have fallen deeply in love and be badly broken and be changed by that love.. I would never meet someone as good as that ‘person’.

To be truthfully honest, there is this one event in my college life that I have really regret up to now… Back when I was still a froshie, there’s this guy who’s constantly in my mind and he’s constantly hanging around with me. He was really the first person to tell me that I have a huge crush on him. (Seriously, he really suprised me then but what he was claiming is true all along.) He was the guy who looked so confident and full of himself but I never hated him from being like that because deep in my heart, I knew that he’s only like that in front of me.

To be honest, that guy was indeed my first friend and my first crush in my university. He was really funny in his way. He’s always there for me whenever I needed him and I was also there for him. Even though I really liked him back then, it never made it to the point that I would be in a relationship with him because he had a girlfriend that time and just like I said, he’s just my crush.

It’s like the perfect guy, but the wrong time..I could never forget his first impression with me.. “That time, I thought you were the smartest person in the class. And I’m really shocked when *insert name* is better than you.” I was really flattered and until now, that’s what motivates me to study at some point..

I could still remember that he was the guy who would cheer me up and would talk to me when I feel down. I could still remember how I used to help him with his studies. I could clearly remember how we used to tease each other too much and how he tried so hard to make me smile whenever I am sad. His simplicity completely balances my complex mind. Our relationship maybe was the most extraordinary of all.. It’s as if we met even in our past lives. Okay, don’t get me wrong because all I can say is that our friendship was really true.

That guy may not be the brightest in our class, but I believed in him, pushed him, supported him and helped him in his studies. He was really doing so well that time.. Until everything changed because I fell for someone else..

Since we humans are indeed selfish beings, we tend to prioritize our benefits first rather than others’ welfare. Things really changed after that.. I prioritized the other guy and so.. I couldn’t be there for him even if he was still there for me whenever I needed him. And everything went down the drain. He wasn’t able to handle the pressure anymore.. so his mom told him to switch schools..

I was really devastated and sad then because I knew that we wouldn’t be able to see each other in school anymore, we wouldn’t have our usual laugh and teasing jokes against each other.. I remembered how sad he is that time.. and I can still remember what he told me.. “Thanks for everything.. You’re the one that I would never ever forget..” In tagalog, “Salamat sa lahat lahat.. Ikaw yung pinaka-hindi ko makakalimutan sa lahat..”

His words strucked me hard. I really cried upon reading that message and I knew he cried as well. Hahaha. (Okay, I am really a coward for not saying goodbye in his face because we both can’t do it). Seriously.. And then I realized by that time that we were indeed like real siblings.. (Are you somehow hoping this ends into a romantic thing? Well sorry it won’t).

After he left our school I thought that I would not find someone like him. But it turns out wrong because exactly 1 year after he left, I saw his qualities in that certain person. And I know it’s wrong but I am wondering if that new one became the substitute for him..(I’m not telling who he is.)

But true to our words, we never really forgot about each other. Even after all these time, it’s nice that we could still talk ask if we never were separated for about 3 years now. And I’ve heard that his new girlfriend and I had a ton of similarities and he’s really proud when he told me that. (Seriously, I’m gonna punch that guy. So much for admiration)..

If I could turn back time, I would never let him be alone.. But then again, he would never met this girl if he didn’t leave our school so I think.. I still think that even I have regretted that, things went well. And if he was still here with me, I would never meet another good person like him. πŸ™‚

There you have it! :)) Finally cleared my thoughts. πŸ™‚ Off to studying again πŸ˜€

xoxo,

jha.ix

 

Song of Achilles: Madeline Miller

As I have said, I pledge to read 50 books this year and fortunately, I have started to finish one of the pile of books that I have. πŸ™‚

The first book that I had finished this year is The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller.

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Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

Upon seeing this book, I already felt intrigued by it. I simply thought that I could finally understand more about the Trojan war and what really happened to Achilles, why the Greeks waged war for the fairest lady of them all, Helen of Sparta..

Back in high school, I really loved Greek and Roman Mythology. Most of my classmates felt reading it as their obligation in order to pass the exams given to us by our English teacher. However, I was not like them. Since I really loved reading books even when I was a kid, I tend to enjoy reading those stories.

One of the stories that bugged me was the Trojan War. Before, I really felt ridiculous because the war was waged because of Helen. (I really don’t like her vanity, sorry for being like this). I mean, why should someone offer their life just for a girl who was abducted with own her consent? I really felt stupid. Even though she’s the most fairest of them all, does that mean that people should shed their own blood and kill the innocents just to get this treacherous lady back? Seriously. It was a major no-no. :|. A little background on the Trojan War. :3

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It all started when the gods wanted to have a feast when goddess Thetis, goddess of the sea, was wedded to King Peleus, King of Phtia. All of the gods and goddesses were invited except Eris, the goddess of discord. It is simply obvious that no one would like to invite a troublemaker in a wedding ceremony, right? Hence, in order to extract her vengeance, she tossed a golden apple (Apple of Discord) into the party inscribing “For the most beautiful one”. Many agreed that the 3 goddesses namely: Athena, Hera and Aphrodite are the Β fairest of all the goddesses. Since the three of them wanted to get the apple badly, they asked Zeus in order to bring judgment upon them.

However, Zeus wouldn’t like to do so because if he chose one, the other two would be highly offended. In order to have a fair judgment, he said Paris, the son of Priam would choose the fairest of them all. Paris was given the right by Zeus to set any conditions in order to determine the most fairest goddess. He even asked the three of them to undress before him. Even though the three goddesses undressed before him, he couldn’t decide because the three were ideally beautiful so they bribed him in order for him to give in.

Hera promised the ownership of all Europe and Asia, Athena offeredΒ battle, wisdom and the abilities of the greatest warriors and Aphrodite offered the love of the most beautiful woman on Earth, which is Helen of Sparta (Ugh. I hate her.. haha). I believe that Paris is a man of vanity so he chose Aphrodite. Then, Aphrodite helped Paris abduct Helen as she slept in the kingdom of King Menelaus. It was also noted that she came willingly. It was probably because she fell in love with Paris. However, an oath was made before that if Helen was abducted by anyone, all her suitors and their own kingdoms would protect her and his chosen husband. (Yeah, I know, it really sounds stupid. Seriously.)Β Thus, it was the beginning of the Trojan war.

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Achilles was really one of my favorite heroes.. It was fascinating that he were able to slaughter hundreds or even thousands of Trojan warriors by himself. I was so focused on him before that I never noticed the existence of his companion, Patroclus.

In Miller’s book, it was stated that Patroclus and Achilles shared a romantic relationship. I was really not aware of that kind of relationship but I felt that something was different then when he had chosen Patroclus to be his companion. It felt kind of weird at first because it was the first time that I have read a man to man love relationship in a book. I could say that I was surprised but I don’t disapprove of the way Miller told the story of those two. It was really written well that I was able to accept such thing.

It really made me wonder how strong their love and trust between each other. Although Achilles knew that he would die if he participated in the Trojan war, he still risked his life in order to protect Patroclus since he had also sworn an oath to Helen. Even though they have the same gender, they both displayed what true love is. (Truth be told, I’m not judgmental about same-sex relationships because I believe that what matters most is the happiness of the couple.)

The book is very well written since she was able to combine Greek history and literature. πŸ™‚ I would rate it 5 stars if not only for the sensual description of those two making love. (Jeez, I’m not interested in that.. My innocence T_T) Hahaha.

My favorite parts of the book are:

1.) When Patroclus sacrificed his own life for Achilles, he wore his armor and fought for him. Unfortunately he was killed by Hector.

2.) Thesis wrote Patroclus’ name on the grave of Achilles. πŸ™‚ She finally accepted them.

Hence, I would now consider that I am a fan of Madeline Miller! And I’m currently hoping for her next book. I’ve heard that she’s already writing it. Hehe. πŸ™‚ Good luck Ms. Madeline Miller! πŸ˜€ ❀

2013.. A year that was

2013 has been a handful for me. It has been the year of the snakes, figuratively. If you know what I mean. =). Looking back at my past experiences that year, I could say that I experienced more downsides and a lot of depressive episodes rather than refreshing and happy experiences. But then again, I could count few of my highlights and downsides that year. Let’s complete it month by month. BTW, sorry if I couldn’t put any pictures here now, my net is currently fluctuating and I’m too lazy to grab them one by one. :p

January 2013.

It was indeed a good start for me. Being active in a good organization and stuffs, I had came to loved Physics Society of Mapua and I was so glad when I was given the chance to become a Band Manager. How awesome was that. From promotions to practices, I was there but unfortunately, I was not around when they performed at MIT Makati. It was really far and I still have to attend my Data Comm class, so I was forced not to see them play. 😦 It really broke my heart. 😦

February 2013.

A lot has happened this month. It included the surprise birthday party of our professor but it turned out not surprising in anyway because he was already expecting it. The irony, right? I had a duet with Jordan and we sang Way Back into Love and Bakit Ngayon ka lang in front of the class. Geez I was nervous but I was able to get through with it. It was also my second Thursday Group. We went to Coal Bar at Harbor Square. I missed the place really. :p. This month also included my Mom’s Golden Year and I sang for her as well. Seriously, I really don’t like to sing at all :p. But the highlight of Mom’s party was when Dad and she danced together. <3. Funny video, BTW =)

March 2013.

It is our first outing together with our professor and our first time in Baguio with batchmates. I was part of Team Organizer and we really had fun organizing the event because it was a success indeed. :). We also had our usual Term Ender with Power Friends. We really enjoyed it. Β Food trip to the max again =). We also had a term ender involving Karaoke. I really miss doing that. :(. Some of my friends and I failed the examination and we pleaded to our professor that he give us another chance. Fortunately he did. =). I got an almost perfect examination of 98%. Btw, I still got 1.25 as my grade there. hihi. Funny thing πŸ™‚

I had my second PSM Outing. It was one of the worst drunk moments of my life. Ugh. Ask Master Candy and Bunso for details, I don’t even want to remember that anymore. :((. I drank because I thought I would fail 4 units. But in the end, I passed it all. :p. Nah. funny thing.

I had a date with my BFF Rona, we had FOOD TRIP TO THE MAX. That day was all about Eating and Eating and Eating. Hahaha. Seriously, I had my first time at Taco bell, the food there was great. I ate again at love desserts after 3 Months and I still hate that Egg Pie, though. Curse you egg pie! And we tried the Bao Bao cup at Nai Cha. Sheesh. After that I wanna die. Hahaha.

I also had my First Blueberry Cheesecake of Cheesecake, Etc. It was really delicious, BTW but thing is, it was way too expensive for me. So Mom paid for it. Hahaha. Perks of having good grades that term πŸ™‚

April 2013.

Had a date with Agnes and it was my first time eating at Army Navy and Zarks’. A PIG OUT DAY =)). Hihi.. Agnes nearly cursed me that time. Btw, Zarks’ Burger are way tooooo big. :p but it’s really worth it, anyway :p. This month, I finally found a time wherein I could spend a vacation at our province in Bulacan, it was really relaxing and fun. Hehehe. I got to eat my con yelo (Crushed ice with Evaporated Milk and Condensed Milk so that it would taste sweet. I don’t like Halo halo anyway.) I also saw my dog! I missed him to bits. πŸ˜›

It was also a good experience for me to try the board exams that month. To be truthfully honest, passing that board examination was pure miracle because I did not review well for the said examinations until it was only 3 days before the exam itself. But God and Saint Jude and Black Nazarene helped me get through that examination. Thank you Lord. <3. I finally have something attached to my name now. πŸ™‚

May 2013.

This month really was a bit devastating month for me. It was really a month of ups and downs. It was the first time that I had my heart broken. Way too deep :((. It was also the month where I lost my so called boy best friend. It was really hard for me at first but my tatay (Sir Quinto) taught me that there are many people who loves me more so I shouldn’t be that sad anymore. He made me realize that I should not be in that relationship if it doesn’t help me grow and ends up hurting me more than I could ever imagine.

Things started to change when I experienced that heartbreak. Seriously, I stepped out of the comfort zone and quite become feminine due to a certain someone ehem.. calling that person! Chost. :). Bunso taught me things about life. We had this funny conversation, btw.

M: I would never be able to love someone like that before.

H: Wouldn’t that be unfair to your future husband? :\

Before, I cannot seem to agree with him, but now I think I understand what he said back then. He also told me to fix myself and act more like a girl. Yeah. I seemed to follow his advice and everyone became shocked of what they saw. Btw, thanks for encouraging me to change! Charot. πŸ™‚

I finally became an officer of IEEE org. :). Cool. But the most awesome thing that happened to me this month is when I met new and true friends: Kuya Mac and Ate Joyce. They were also going through an immeasurable amount of pain, same as me, and they helped me heal my heart as well.

June 2013.

As I was moving on with my life, my ex-bbf can’t seem to move on with his. He even texted me such things, “I’m sorry. I couldn’t live without you. I wouldn’t be able to handle it.” I was really devastated before when he told me that so I gladly gave him the second chance that he was asking for. But thing is, he didn’t deserve any bit of the second chance that I gave him. Β He even made me regret that I did. :(. I really tried to work things out but in the end, unfortunately, it didn’t work out. :(. Sad thing is, I found out his real identity.

EECE outing with friends, it was not that awesome as it was the last time. This is where I managed to smoke like hell. As in, I smoked 16 sticks in one day.. I found out that I really like the taste of mint especially peppermint. (But this was the last time that I smoked). This month also gave me the opportunity to join the EECE quizbee. And fortunately, we were the CHAMPIONS! I’m happy that I was able to experience it with Maryon and EJ. πŸ™‚

I was very much addicted to Minions that I almost looked like one. anyway, I was able to collect 1 Set. Hurray for HAPPY MEALS! ❀

July 2013.

I finally got the courage to end up things with him, the hard way, though. I got a new phone.. Yeay! Fruits of Thy Labor. :D. This month, we also went back to Baguio with our Comm5 and DataComm batchmates. Again, Go Team Organizers for the second time around. =)). I also experienced 18 units overload. But was able to passed 17 out of 18 units. Argh. Dang you Correl! :(. I was also pissed off because he won’t return my books. Damn you. 😦

August 2013.

Surprised a special friend a day before his birthday. It was a very funny excuse. Seriously, I need to make good excuses from now on. Glad that he was able to appreciate what I did. :). This month was the outbreak of The Conjuring, we watched the last full show at SM Manila and we had overnight at Dad’s office. I was really scared that I slept next to cousin and Renz. :o. I also experienced to walk out at 2am in the morning because of ECE laws. My groupmates are really. UGH. πŸ™‚ Thanks to them =D

September 2013.

Photo shoot. Photo shoot for Laws. haha :)). It was also the first time that I cooked for my college friends. πŸ™‚ Hehe. glad that they liked what I cooked. :D. I also had my first out of the country trip with my batchmates. Wee. Hooray for Graduating Class Field Trip: Singapore and Malaysia! <3. It was really fun. =). I also had my first book fair with Joe. Shopping to the Max at SM Mall of Asia. XD. We also showed our movie infront of the class entitled Vendetta, A movie about Revenge. (Hmm, I’m thinking of making it my first novel.. Hehe).I HATE MEC32 and my professor in that subject! GRRR. o.o.

I also had my interview with Emerson Network Power. Looking forward to our OJT there. πŸ˜€

October 2013.

This month was one of the best months ever. I started my on-the-job training at Emerson Network Power and I met my crush there. Seriously. :P. hahaha. I met team 18 and I was really glad that I was a part of their team :). Bunso, Kevs and Alfred’s first time on Eastwood. We ate at Sambokojin. Foodtrip! :D.. :)) Seriously. It was fun. =))..

Moving forward, Beks’ Mom contacted me.. I wonder why on earth she did. It seems that she knows me? Seriously? But then again, How??

Btw, I finally got the courage to apply for my license. Yehey. Finally, a registered Electronics Technician πŸ˜€

November 2013.

Gramps died this month. Although I hated him so much in his latter years, I still realized that I love him and I crave for his attention. =( I wish I could see him in the next life. :(</3

Birthday celebration of Ate 1. First time at Buffet 101. I was really FULL. ;)) YUMMY! <3. Hihihi. I was also able to ride a boat. It was really a great experience even though it stinks.Β 

I attended EECE Night for the second time and I wore my dashing boots. But the program sucked really. :P.

I was also able to buy Ricky Lee’s books. I really like that author and I’m dying to attend one of his workshops.

December 2013.

This is one of the i really don’t know months. :).. It was a month =)) a so-so month. We toured Ajoy at Vito Cruz and ate at Zarks’ Burger. :)) Wohooo.. She and her boyfriend had a fight.. Good thing we were able to help her. (They’re okay now. :)).Β 

Bok almost lost her phone at MOA due to some shitty shameless oldies who were magna cum laudes in thievery and deceit. It was also my first time at Resort’s world and I felt bored because it only caters to the upperclassmen of the society. Jeez. :\. Seriously? Casino, Casino and Casino. Whew..

I had dinner with Bunso at Chinatown and he really laughed hard at me because my cellphone that day was outdated. It was destroyed accidentally but was fixed after 3 days. =)

I was really dead sick, and was hospitalized a day before I turned 21. Jeez. could you believe how lame I was? :(( Hahaha.

December 30, 2013 -> My first time to try ZIP LINE. Whew. It’s cold in tagaytay πŸ˜€ #SkyRanch πŸ˜€

A year it was. So nostalgic. πŸ˜›

What could have been.. :)

I’m just reminiscing and wondering whatever happened to me. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not regretting what I had become but I’m very thankful that I have changed for the better.

It should have been four whole years for now. (Nov. 24, 2009). I could have been in love with the same old wrong guy. But now, I don’t and I don’t think that it will be possible in the future. (Thank God for that). It was really hard when I decided that I should move on with my life. I mean, I invested all of my feelings there, for so long..but all of it was just put into waste.. Fudge life right?

That guy was the first person that I had been serious with but little did I know that what he felt for me were mere lies. The fact in all of those things were non-existent.. and the worst thing that I ever felt was.. He just pretended that we were friends.. Our friendship was just a mere illusion that he pacified into my mind and to all of the people that we were with. It was a great show actually. =)

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It hurts before, but now.. It doesn’t even hurt a bit πŸ™‚

You might wonder why I am posting this now? Well..actually, before, I planned that after all the process, and when I feel no ounce of bitterness left in me, I shall post this blog and let people here my story. πŸ™‚

I am really good at hiding my feelings toward to someone that I like but this time, I was not able to do so fully because I really wanted things to work out before..And it was the first time that I got serious so I waited patiently until I was able to confess my feelings.. And I never imagined that I could do so.. I thought that confessions would be fairy-tale like in which you like a person, then that person likes you as well, but nooo. it’s not like that. What I actually felt was.. I’m not growing in this kind of relationship. I am the only one who’s end up hurting while he gets what he wants. Nah. I don’t like that thought.

Learning the Hard way =)

Learning the Hard way =)

Actually, I remember how stupid I was before.. Following all his orders and granting his favors, he had an easy academic life.. but someone made me realize that things must not be like that. I mean, he really showed me what’s the truth even if it hurt me the most (and I am really thankful to that someone). Being taken for granted sucks, actually. =).

life-quotes-Dont-take-people-for-granted

This picture says it all :))

So there you have it.. I was really annoyed at first at that certain someone because he seemed to be the cause of my misunderstandings with that guy. But then again, I realized that what that certain someone is saying is right. I’ve been taken for granted by that guy for quite a long time now and I just realized it.. It really hurt back then.. Thinking of those 3 and half years.. they were just mere lies.. 😦

So anyway, since I couldn’t take the pain anymore (I can’t pretend that I am a martyr forever, can I?), I decided that I should end all of those bullshits. So, I finally had the courage to do so last May 11, 2013. I asked my brother to help me end all of the lies, the shits and the stuffs. So, I finally said…

I..like..you..

I..like..you..

Did you imagine that I would say that.. Well.. to be truthfully honest.. You’re…

WRONG! VERY WRONG! :)))

WRONG! VERY WRONG! :)))

Oooopsss.. Don’t get me wrong.. I didn’t utter any words such as that because it’s sooo.. icky. hahaha. Seriously, these are the exact words that i uttered..Β “Gusto ko nang palayain ang sarili ko sayo..”Β In English, “I want to be freed from your rein.” Believe me or not, I really cried that time, and then he was all shocked and quiet and saying that he felt betrayed and all. But hell no, imagined that I was the one who ended up hurting the whole time and then he’s saying that he’s betrayed??? SERIOUSLY? :\

Then, after that, I called that someone and asked him where the he is and I would definitely go to his place (Don’t get the wrong idea, he’s my special friend). I skipped my Communications 5 class and I headed towards him and we talked. Upon telling him the story, he scolded me and we had this conversation..

Him: “Why did you tell that stupid guy?”

Me: “I had enough of all those lies. I’m tired.”

H: “What did you tell him?”

M: “Don’t get me wrong! I never confessed in such way that I told him that I liked him.”

H: “Then what did you say?”

M:” I want to be freed from your rein.”

H:”HAHAHA. What? Is your story a part of a teledrama?”

M:”Hahaha. =)) I know right.”

He insisted that we drink Milk Tea, that’s our hobby together.. So we walked towards Betty’s Milk Tea but it’s not open so we ran out of options, but we finally headed to SM Manila to one of my least favorite store, Cha Time. Upon entering there, I couldn’t choose any drink, so I decided that I would have green tea matcha because I felt bitter that time.

Green Tea Matcha.. The decent milktea that I drank at ChaTime

Green Tea Matcha.. The decent milktea that I drank at ChaTime

I was supposed to treat that friend of mine, but he insisted that it’s his treat because I was dumped. He repeated that I was dumped for three times and I want to strangle him but I opted not to.. Haha. It’s a joke of his. :)). He patiently listened to all my whines and everything and I really am glad that I found a friend in that guy. =)

Moving On... :)

Moving On… πŸ™‚

It really hurt that time. First heartbreak really makes a mark in your whole life. But I never imagined that letting go would be harder than moving on.. Just a fact, I couldn’t let go of that person for almost 4 years, but I moved on in a span of 1 week? :)) Jeez. :). I couldn’t believe it either. :))

Before, I thought that when someone broke your heart, your world eventually stops. but I was wrong.. It doesn’t stop, it gives you opportunity to focus on different things. I thought that being loved by your loved one is the most important feeling in this world, but then again, I was wrong. Having my heart broken for the first time pointed out different things to me. I was able to step out of my comfort zone. I was able to find out who really cares about me. I was able to make myself a little bit dashing and quite beautiful =). and last but not the least, I was able to experience a less stressful life without worrying about someone else.. I never imagined that change would be great..

Haha. great change. :))

Haha. great change. :))

Seriously, compared to what I am before, I really am more comfortable with myself. I am now able to express whether I like or dislike something or someone, I am not trying to hide anything that I feel. :). Plus the fact that God blessed me with people who loves me wayyy than I could ever imagine. :).. I’m really thankful for that.

PS. Things and feelings are really magical. Before I thought that such saying as “One day, I’ll wake up and then I wouldn’t feel anything” is just plain and mere bullshit but it was actually true and I had finally experienced it. Β It’s true that one day you’ll wake up and then you’ll realize that you don’t feel anything anymore.. no more love and no more hatred in your heart.. just plain indifference. =). Hehe. Parang back to strangers ang Peg. :).. Hmm. seriously.. πŸ™‚ There’s no more bitterness in my heart. =)

The only feeling that remains is, we need to use each other, so we must cooperate in order to finish our Thesis. πŸ™‚ Sounds mature, eh? Lol. Seriously =))

PS. I’m tired of what ifs and what could have been. :)) It’s a good thing that I ended up putting the period in that relationship. πŸ™‚ Very Mature ;)). Kidding!

Hehe. Till here.. I still have to study Elecs for my correlation course. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

xoxo,

Jhajhaix

Emerson Plant Visit :) (Laguna Branch)

November 13, 2013 (My 23rd day in Emerson Network Power)

Emerson Network Power Plant (Sta. Rosa, Laguna)

Actually, we were asked by our HR manager to have a plant visit. It really sounds cool right? But we have to miss one day of our on the job training 😦 Sorry team 18. 😦 Anyways, let’s get back to the real story. πŸ™‚ So, Allison, Alyssa and Earl were natives of Cavite and Laguna, respectively. Therefore, they were asked to go into the site by 12pm. Meanwhile, Paul and I still have to go to Techno Plaza 1 and be with our team mates until eleven am. :(( </3. It’s kind of heartbreaking :((. Anyway, let’s proceed with the moral of the story. lol πŸ™‚

I woke up at exactly 6 am in the morning. I was feeling giddy. It was so-like me. I am more of an evening person. In short, I am definitely NOT A MORNING PERSON. So, there. I was able to leave home by 8am. (Seriously? I am late. :(). As expected, I arrived late at Emerson. Jeez. Goodness gracious, I was late for 5 minutes. Huhu. I am really dead. So moving forward, People in my team were also late. They were caught up in a heavy traffic and some were still taking their breakfast. So, there, I was idle for about and hour and half when my boss asked me to bake the LMS. (Heatsink+LMS+IC=Yeay!). I only had 30 minutes left, so I panicked. I was not sure whether I should tell my boss that I am going to leave by 11am or finish his task first. So, I prompted to do it, but ended up not finishing things anyway 😦 (Sad story.) Then, when It was already 11am, Kuya Paul called me for several times and I took a run for it.

I arrived late again (5 minutes late). As I ran to my seat, I thank God that I wasn’t the last person to arrive. In short, there is someone who is actually more late than me. (Please check the grammar, thanks! <3). When we were heading to Laguna, Kuya Paul and I kept talking and talking and talking.. Apparently, when we were in the boundary of Sucat, we both fell asleep and actually woke at Emerson Plant Laguna. Haha. (It was a nice nap for me, btw.)

We were the second ones to arrive and we found out that the other OJTs from NCST (National College of Science And Technology- Cavite) arrived earlier than us. (Sila na, early birds sila e.). So I told my brother that we should wait for the others so that we could take our lunch together. πŸ™‚

After their arrival, we immediately headed towards the Cafeteria. It was really awesome there. The food is great and you could buy them for a much much cheaper price. Seriously, your 50 pesos could buy you a meal with a drink and your 60 pesos could add dessert to your food. (Sorry I don’t have any pictures.)

After lunch, we were asked to head to the HR office to leave our things. They also gave us a uniform to wear. :). Note: There are different colors of uniform. The color of the uniform pertains to the position of the employee. Btw, our uniform is skyblue, it is designed for the guests.

A minionized me in the prescribed uniform. :)

A minionized me in the prescribed uniform. πŸ™‚

Haha. Sorry for the vain photo. (I just uploaded it because I was dared by a friend). Then, we were asked to meet Maam Arlene in order for us to start our tour. The plant tour was fun and exciting and very very tiring. Too bad we were not allowed to take pictures of the different machines. 😦 </3. So we grabbed the chance we could take in order for us to have a photo πŸ˜›

On the middle of our tour. Stolen Photo :D

On the middle of our tour. Stolen Photo πŸ˜€

Haha. we definitely love to take pictures then. hihi :). Good thing that Maam Arlene did not reprimand us. πŸ™‚ Lol.

Another Stolen Photo πŸ˜€

 

As you can see, kuya Paul is not included in this picture. It’s too bad because he was forced to join the other group during the plant tour. Sigh* (Forever alone). Anyway, as we moved further into Laguna plant, we met some people that Earl might like. Haha. Peace be with you Ejay. πŸ™‚

As the tour, concluded, we asked Maam Arlene to have a picture with us at the Lobby of Emerson Plant Laguna. πŸ™‚

Yeay! At the Lobby.. With Maam Arlene, our tour guide πŸ™‚

 

I really had fun in this plant tour and I do hope that there’s still more to come. πŸ™‚ I still have 3 weeks remaining at Emerson. Might make the most of it. Hihi :D. ❀

And the rest of some funny and silly pictures follow.

Picture with Maam Arlene. πŸ˜€

 

Meh. I'm trying to be a Minion. Lol. hoho

Meh. I’m trying to be a Minion. Lol. hoho

Finally.. Some Pictures with our very own, Paul Michael Serrano πŸ™‚ (AKA. Ricky Lo.) Hahaha

Is kuya trying to be a ghost? :)

Is kuya trying to be a ghost? πŸ™‚

 

This guys made us their background. Good job!

This guys made us their background. Good job!

Hihihihi :D There are some presence in the back?

Hihihihi πŸ˜€ There are some presence in the back?

And the winner of the SELFIE of the year is.. no other than…

Mr. Earl John Dangalan!

Mr. Earl John Dangalan!

Congratulations! Haha. You won trip to Hawaii in your dreams. Lol. Anyway. The trip was trying but fun. I do hope we could get together again someday. Haha πŸ™‚

Till here.

Jha.ix